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Jabba the Hutt is one vile and twisted villain inhabiting the Star Wars universe. Ignoring the Special Editions, he isn't seen until Return of the Jedi, but gets talked up plenty. When we finally see him, he doesn't disappoint, being one of the series' most memorably gruesome evildoers, not just in appearance (being an enormously fat sluglike beast that can't even move under his own power) but in behavior.

And how does he behave? Well, in addition to being so cruel he likes watching even people who saved his life die horrible deaths, he also likes keeping beautiful women in skimpy dancing girl costumes chained to him at all times, forcing them to dances and loving little more than to dispose of them for various petty reasons so he can enjoy them getting eaten by his pet monster under the floor, as he did with Oola.

The problem with this habit is that it creates a high turnover rate for slavegirls, and he is forever in need of replacements. But Jabba is in luck! After killing Oola, a new slavegirl falls right into what amounts to his lap in the form of Princess Leia Organa, who is captured in a failed bid to rescue the imprisoned Han Solo.

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Jabba seems like he's really going to enjoy Leia's company.

"Bring her to me!" Jabba commands.

Leia threatens that she has powerful friends and that the Hutt will regret it.

"I'm sure, Leeeeeiiiiiaaaaa," Jabba intones with perhaps a bit too much lust for what's supposed to be a kids' film, licking his lips hungrily as Threepio, horrified, turns away.

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Ick...

Exactly what transpires is thankfully left to our imaginations, as the next time we see Leia she's in a skimpy harem girl outfit and kept chained to her new master.

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The scene that launched a thousand fetish sites.

But her ordeal won't last long. Luke Skywalker is here! Oops, he just fell into the pit with the aforementioned monster under the floor! Oh no! Oh, wait, he killed it! Yay! Oh no! He got recaptured! Crap!

Proving to be not terribly original, Jabba's response to this outrage is to... try and feed Luke to a different monster, this one being essentially nothing but a big mouth in the ground out in the desert. So Jabba and his retinue of salivating perverted minions pile into his flying "sail barge" and zoom on out to the dreaded Pit of Carkoon, where Luke, Han and Chewbacca the Wookiee are to be fed to the Sarlacc beast.

He brings Leia with him. During the trip, he tries to put the moves on his new slave and show her who's boss, offering a glass of, um, something relatively unpleasant and reassuring her, "Soon you will learn to appreciate me!"

He has no idea how wrong he is! At the Pit of Carkoon, things don't go according to plan thanks to the fact one of Jabba's guards is actually Han Solo's old friend Lando Calrissian in disguise, and the fact Artoo had Luke's lightsaber inside himself and fires it to him, allowing the Jedi to start cutting up Jabba's guys left and right. A huge and chaotic battle erupts. Jabba, unable to participate beyond pitching a fit like a giant, flabby baby, finds himself suddenly unattended as all of his men rush off to fight the freed prisoners, left alone in the main area of the sail barge with Leia.

Leia and her leash, which is a long metal chain.

The one she swiftly throws over Jabba's head after getting behind him and uses to choke the life out of his big fat body.

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No chain can hold Princess Leia! Jabba, however...

She pulls and pulls, slowly strangling him to death, and the disgusting Hutt finds himself unable to get his fat fingers underneath the chain to save himself, and so all he can do is flap his tongue around, bulge out his eyes, and die a slow, prolonged, much-deserved asphyxiation death at the hands of the woman he enslaved.

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Jabba realizes too late he's in a Tatooinian snuff film.

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Killing living blobs of fat is a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

She didn't learn to appreciate him. And he did regret enslaving her. Oh well. Live and learn, right?

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X_X

Oh, wait. Jabba died. Nevermind.

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